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How Do I Best Delegate Responsibilities During Cancer Treatment?

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Published on January 29, 2018

Who can patients lean on during lung cancer treatment? Our panel of healthcare experts, including Sandra Manley-Eichler from Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center of Northwestern University, and Katie Michelson from Regional Health Cancer Care Institute, share resources to help delegate responsibilities to others; like transportation, food, finance, understanding treatment options and more. Watch now to discover a network of people who can provide practical and emotional support during your lung cancer treatment journey.


The Living Well with Lung Cancer series is a Patient Empowerment Network program produced by Patient Power in partnership with SURVIVEiT®. We thank Celgene, Helsinn, Novartis and Genentech for their support. 




Transcript | How Do I Best Delegate Responsibilities During Cancer Treatment?

Please remember the opinions expressed on Patient Power are not necessarily the views of our sponsors, contributors, partners or Patient Power. Our discussions are not a substitute for seeking medical advice or care from your own doctor. That’s how you’ll get care that’s most appropriate for you.

Andrew Schorr:

So, Sandra, it sounds like a lot of work, though. I mean, a lot of people might say, “Oh my God, I’ve been diagnosed with this life-threatening condition. I just want people to just take care of me.” But it sounds like today, if you can martial family and friends around you, though, you do have a lot of horsepower to be a knowledgeable consumer. I mean, you want to say, heal me, but on the other hand, you want to make sure that all your needs are taken care of. 

Sandra Manley-Eichler: 

I think it’s such a balance that when you have a diagnosis of any cancer, that you sort of struggle between wanting to be as independent as you were before, and how much do you elicit help from friends and family? It can be a struggle. And I think what’s nice is that you have an opportunity to delegate tasks to friends and family who, like you said, are fostering support for you. And I have a lot of patients who will send somebody else to speak with me. They’ll say, I’m too dizzy from chemo. I’m too tired. I’m trying to figure out, maybe, how to manage child care, or going back to work at some point during treatment. And then they’ll ask maybe a friend, or a sibling, or a parent, or a spouse to reach out to me for those resources instead, and sort of filter through those resources.

So, you have many resources, that you have a lot of people who can help you sort of narrow down what’s the best one for you, including your social worker.

Andrew Schorr:

How do you coach people on asking for help? So, Matt, you have five kids, and you have a pretty large family, and a big community in South Dakota where you live. But Sandra, first I’ll start with you, is how do you give yourself permission to say, this is all I can do. My job is to try to get well, but I need help with communication, with food, with asking questions to the doctor, financial resources, transportation.

Sandra Manley-Eichler: 

Sure. With a lot of my patients, I think that that’s a very common problem, so I want to validate that that’s something that I’m sure a lot of our listeners are struggling with, is at what point do I ask for help? And for what? And does that make me appear weak or like I can’t handle it, right? Never a good way to feel.

And I often say, think of somebody that you care about a great deal, whether it’s a family member, your best friend, a mentor, maybe—and now imagine that that person was just diagnosed with cancer. And think about the lengths to which you would go to help that person. And I guarantee you that there are many people in your life who would feel the same way about you. So, I think putting yourself in the shoes of the caregiver, the other person who wants to be of help and exercise some control over what they can do to help you, is a good a exercise in sort of reminding us that we’re all fallible. We all have positions in which we wish that we could sort of shoulder everything. But we’re all human beings. And if you can sort of connect with the people in your life that you really care about, you’ll see that they care about you too.

Andrew Schorr:

Katie, next question for you is you’re at a treatment center. 

And I’m actually going through leukemia treatment these days, so I’m in a room with some people getting infusions and things, not just for leukemia but for lung cancer. And there are family members and friends who come in. So, tell me, how do you feel as a practitioner about the involvement of family and friends, and what’s helpful with the healthcare team, and maybe what isn’t? 

Kate Michelson:                 

I think it’s one of the biggest support systems that you can have. And we have almost all of our patients come in with either a friend or a family member to all of their follow-ups. They’re there throughout their infusion. And being a prior infusion nurse in the chemo setting, I have seen the relationships that these patients have with their families. I see the relationships that they develop with other cancer patients that are in the next room, or down under the next curtain, or behind the next curtain. And so, those relationships are really important.

Andrew Schorr:

Right. So, Matt, what would you say to people about asking for help or delegating responsibility for family or friends, or a church group, or your synagogue?

Matt Ellefson:   

I think it’s very important, and it doesn’t come easy to a lot of us, for the reasons that you guys just discussed. I mean, we all want to control the path of our life to some degree, and especially when you have a life-threatening disease; you really want to control it.

I mean, because you don’t want to make the wrong choices. And so, it’s really hard to relinquish some of that control to somebody else. And I would recommend, start small. I gave up—the first thing I did was I gave up control of my nutrition to my wife. And she was gonna just study nutrition, and what I needed to it, and the cancer-fighting foods, and things I needed to stay away from. And I thought, boy, this is so helpful. I don’t have to study that anymore. Now I can focus on other things. So, I would recommend, start small. Find one little sliver of need that you might have, and ask a friend if they will do that—your friend, or loved one, or caregiver. And I’ll guarantee you, they’re gonna be willing to do it. And just let it go. And then you’ll start to see the benefit of having that help. It’s tremendous. You can’t do this alone.

Please remember the opinions expressed on Patient Power are not necessarily the views of our sponsors, contributors, partners or Patient Power. Our discussions are not a substitute for seeking medical advice or care from your own doctor. That’s how you’ll get care that’s most appropriate for you.

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